You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
