Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
