I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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