yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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