This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
