He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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