I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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