i can't believe i had my finger in that
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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