I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think my moral compass just broke
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
