No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My vagina just clenched in fear
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
