So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
