I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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