you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
