Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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