I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
