Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
