Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize