have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
