Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
