Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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