its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
