i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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