i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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