all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
