Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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