So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The power of my boobs compel you
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
