One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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