he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i drank out of a bidet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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