I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
