last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize