Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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