I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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