He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
