Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
