Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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