Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
fuck your aforementioned shoe
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
