just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
