he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Are we still banned from the library?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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