Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
