Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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