Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Houston, we have a blender
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize