Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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