I think my fart just growled at me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
