I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
