We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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