ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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