Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
