Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
