how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
