I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
