Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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