the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
