have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
