yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
