Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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