Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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