Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
