I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize