watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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