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and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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