What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
