bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
