you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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