This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
