My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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