You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
