Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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