why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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