Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
