I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
