You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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